March: What About Me?

We are all familiar with the account of Jesus' visit to Martha and Mary. Martha was preoccupied with household tasks, whilst Mary sat at Jesus' feet, listening to him. Jesus said, “Martha, Martha,” the Lord answered, “you are worried and upset about many things, but few things are needed—or indeed only one. Mary has chosen what is better, and it will not be taken away from her.” (Luke 10:38-42, NIV) 

We also know the story of the prodigal son and his older brother. The younger brother asked his father for his estate, left, lost everything, and returned home. The older brother was dutiful, stayed with their father, and took care of the field. However, when the younger brother returned home, he was met with a party, which angered the older brother because their father had never celebrated him in the same way that his younger brother had. (Luke 15:11-32, NIV) 

Why did I begin this blog with these two stories? Because I have been both Mary and the prodigal son, as well as Martha and the older brother. Most people, in my experience, are unwilling to admit this. Have you ever wondered, "What about me? Don't I also matter? Can't you see how dedicated I am about caring and serving like Martha? Haven't I been obedient like the older brother? Do I have to lose everything, like the prodigal son, for you to care?” I'm not ashamed to admit it, because shame is not a part of God's DNA. When the enemy tricked Adam and Eve, they covered themselves and hid from God, bringing shame with them. God doesn’t want us to hide. 

I do not have to hide. My sister recently called to share wonderful news. I immediately offered her my congratulations. What began as a congratulatory gesture quickly morphed into anger and resentment. Old feelings of sorrow and pain reappeared. Throughout my childhood and formative years, I frequently felt neglected, abandoned, and invisible. I begged God to help me get to the bottom of my feelings. My inner child was crying and aching. I had an old tape running through my mind, "Nobody sees me. Nobody really cares. No one loves me." I frequently wondered if I got into trouble, if my parents would notice and pay attention, but I was too terrified to try. Because I was ignored, I assumed that my parents did not love me. 

That is the enemy's trick: convincing me I am unwanted and unlovable. If I'm not careful, I'll begin to accept lies as true. When my sister called with good news that involved my parents, I found myself saying something similar to what Martha and the older brother said. 

Nothing was wrong with Martha’s desire to serve. A significant aspect of Jesus' ministry is service. Her distraction from being in Jesus' presence was the problem. Do you believe Mary was loved by Jesus more than Martha? Absolutely not! John 11:5 reads, “Now Jesus loved Martha and her sister and Lazarus.” In the prodigal son parable, the older brother's attitude was the problem. He thought he had done everything right - he had followed and supported his father - but he was unaware that his father’s love not the money, was the true gift.

What message am I attempting to convey? If you are Martha or the older brother, there’s no shame. It does not imply that you have regressed by two steps. Actually, it indicates that your faith is deepening. You have the ability to admit the circumstance and bring it before God. You're letting Him heal your wounds instead of hiding anymore. Our daily walk with the Lord isn’t a 30 minute after-school special, it’s something we do everyday. God will continue to set us apart, so celebrate! I am chosen. I am lovable. I am loved. And so are you!