Happy Holidays!

The holidays are often spent celebrating with family, but for many, this season can bring up feelings of past wounds, tension, and anxiety. If you've experienced family trauma—whether it’s from emotional manipulation or a lack of support—you know how hard it can be to stay centered during a time meant to be joyful.

One of the hardest parts of dealing with family trauma is the emotional energy some family members demand. They often expect everything in your life to revolve around them—your thoughts, your choices, even your emotions. They struggle to respect healthy boundaries, which can leave you feeling suffocated, misunderstood, and guilty for simply having your own needs and desires.

For example, a family member may misinterpret something you say about yourself as a personal attack on them. This can lead to unnecessary conflict, leaving you feeling like you're always on edge or constantly defending yourself. Being misunderstood or having your boundaries dismissed often makes you feel like you’re being pulled in every direction.

You may find yourself giving, over and over, only to feel that your own needs are ignored or dismissed altogether. This takes a toll on your mental well-being. Eventually, you run empty, with nothing left in the tank. Your spirit, soul, and body feel drained, and the onset of depression begins to set in.

These situations can leave you feeling lost or disconnected from yourself. The emotional push and pull, especially during the holidays, can leave you anxious and exhausted. What should be a season for connection can instead feel like quicksand—where you’re fighting to maintain your peace and sense of identity.

It's incredibly difficult to stay grounded when the people around you don't seem to understand or respect your emotional needs and boundaries. But remember: God is your anchor. In the midst of family chaos, He is your source of strength, clarity, and peace

One of the most powerful ways to protect your peace and stay connected to God is through prayer. Pray for clarity in how to handle difficult family situations, and for guidance to respond in ways that reflect His love and honor your well-being.

When everything around you is crashing, Philippians 4:6-7 invites us to bring our anxieties to God, and in return, He will give us peace that surpasses understanding. During the holidays, remember these promises, trusting that God’s peace can guard your heart and mind—even in your circumstances. (NIV)

Family trauma often leads to confusion about your place in the world. But remember, your identity is not defined by the approval or expectations of your family—it is rooted in Christ. Galatians 2:20 reminds us, “I have been crucified with Christ and I no longer live, but Christ lives in me. The life I now live in the body, I live by faith in the Son of God, who loved me and gave himself for me.” (NIV) When the enemy attacks with lies and threatens to steal your peace, you must remember who you are in Christ. God has a unique purpose for your life. You matter a great deal to Him.

Reach out to your church or faith community. Surround yourself with people who encourage and uplift you. 1 Thessalonians 5:11 reminds us, “Therefore encourage one another and build each other up, just as in fact you are doing.” (NIV) Remember, you are not alone. Sometimes, God's love shows up through others who walk alongside you, offering support, encouragement, and a reminder of your worth.

Dealing with family trauma, especially during the holidays, can feel overwhelming, but you don’t have to face it alone. Stay connected to God, lean on prayer, and remember your true identity in Christ. No matter what you're facing, God’s love for you will never change. He is with you and will never leave you.